Why do people buy lifelike sex dolls... it's not just about sex | ÆmberaDolls in Konstanz

Mariam, 29, a doctor from Ravensburg, came to the showroom with a simple line: ‘I’m not looking for porn... I’m looking for peace at home.’ Shift work left her drained and dating felt like a chore. She wanted someone, or something, to come home to.... a quiet nighttime routine and a bedtime cuddle. She approached us to see what is actually possible today. What started off with a simple request ended up being a longer talk about weight, storage, materials, and whether she really wanted sex... or just warmth, a presence, and some control over her life. That awkward space between hype, curiosity and realistic needs is where most of our buyers actually stand.

Whenever we talk to the people generally, the popular story is that people buy lifelike dolls for sex. The reality is more mundane... and more human. In Germany, one in five people lived alone in 2023, well above the EU average. Living solo shapes evenings, weekends and the feeling of returning to an empty flat. Loneliness indicators compiled in the Einsamkeitsbarometer 2024 show that the experience is widespread across age bands, with notable burdens among younger and older adults. In this context, a predictable “presence” at home, however artificial, can be attractive.

Figure 1: share in % of households in which people live alone 

But what does the scientific community say? Researchers have identified three overlapping use cases: the doll as a masturbatory aid; as a temporary substitute when a human partner is unavailable; and as a “synthetic partner,” where owners attach names, routines and emotional meaning. The same object can carry different roles over time.

People buy sex dolls mainly for one or several reasons:

• Companionship and cuddle routines
• Sex versus intimacy
• Personal expression and creative hobbies
• Accessibility and hygiene 
• Apprehension towards dating

Companionship and cuddle routines. Our customers often describe evening rituals like sitting the on the sofa with the doll, having Sunday breakfast or cuddling during bedtime, which all make life feel less lonely. While dolls are not people, the physiology of touch helps explain why such routines feel calming. In a randomized trial, a brief partner embrace blunted stress levels in women, while other studies link oxytocin, social support and lower stress reactivity during couple-like interactions. Owners who seek quiet, predictable touch may be translating these dynamics into a solo routine with a doll.

Sex versus intimacy. For many of our customers, it is more about intimacy, warmth and control than a pure sexual release. Some explicitly wish to avoid prostitution and prefer a private, hygienic setting with full control over pace and consent. Several surveys conducted in Europe indicate that doll ownership coincides with reduced frequency of certain risky behaviours like visiting sex workers. 

Fetish expression & creative hobby. Dolls can also be canvases for specific aesthetics. Makeup, cosplay, fantasy themes can be enacted all without requiring a human partner who shares that niche. For some, photography and scene-building dominate; sexuality is secondary.

Accessibility & health. Individuals managing disabilities, anxiety, or social fatigue may value predictable intimacy while retaining full control over time, frequency and intensity; shift workers and frequent travelers often mention sleep quality and the reliablity of dolls to us as the key benefits. 

Apprehension towards dating. Many clients tell us that they do not want to date, but still a sexual release. Many tell stories of ugly divorces, being cheated on, or they have simply not been able to maintain a relationship over an extended time period. Other clients tell us of intense work regimes and simply not having the emotional capacity to date. Sex dolls provide a highly realistic, always there and safe opportunity to have sex. 

Lastly, a reality check: a doll is not a human relationship. For some, ownership complements dating; for others, it fills a chapter of life between relationships. Because a companion doll is highly personal and often emotional, many clients benefit tremendously from confidential consultation and thoughtful customization to ensure personal fit.

People buy lifelike companion dolls for many, often overlapping reasons: privacy and control; predictable companionship and cuddling; aesthetic/fetish expression; and, yes, also sex. In the DACH region, where solo living is common and loneliness affects many, we have many clients that wish to structure evenings, reduce stress, and to just feel less alone. Research suggests that dolls reduce stress levels, give structure to a person's life, while reducing the amount of risky behaviour (like visiting prostitutes). Given the personal nature of the decision, private consultation with experienced retailers and customization are the best safeguards for a good fit.